The War On The Chubber: ‘Fat Person’

The best lesson in life that I’ve ever learned is from 8 Mile. Yes the Eminem film. He raps about all of his own negative points, brings up his own disgraces and misfortunes, then invites his opponent to think of any more. The lesson is that Eminem’s character, B-Rabbit(?) cannot be harmed because he has acknowledged his own flaws. Now his enemy cannot use them against him. As a fat person, you need to do the same….

I’m not a far person! I hear you cry…Well since my last post a fair number of people have maintained their trajectory of denying that I’m a fat person. Some of them themselves were also fat people. The trouble is, it’s most insulting that most of these people are skinny by nature. Where-as I think about takeaway food and put on weight, they have the luxury of simply bolting it down and never changing on the outside.

The joy, however, in this scenario is when I turn to them and tell them, well I’m less of a fat person than you…

They look around, wanting to deny your claim; you see their eyes assess the spare tyre you’re carrying; they clearly don’t know how far to stray into insensitivity to maintain their idea that you are. It’s of a fat person than them. It hilarious.

I always clarify what I’m saying, though – a person who is fat is not always a fat person. There are many illness and personal situations that can lead to wieght gain (broken ankles help!), but it is not always a result of the fat carrier being a fat person. 

Look around you and think about the people in your life. The people who have lots of fat compared to others aren’t the fat people in your life. Nope. The fat people are the ones who live like fat people, regardless of how they look. You can recognise the following traits in fat people:

  • They always say ‘just one more’.
  • They covet other people’s meals (your girlfriend is probably a fat person if she always nicks your food, regardless of if she ordered something).
  • They hide certain things they have eaten (chocolate on car journeys).
  • They have dressing/ sauce all over things. It’s a sign of over-indulgence.
  • They claim not to like fruit and vegetables (grow up. I don’t like going to work but it’s good for me; do what is right for you. It what you want!).

There are other traits but I can’t put my finger on them now, but rest assured – I know what a fat person is because I am one. I have lived a fat person’s life and my Chubber is always trying to drag me back into that life.

So if you are carrying some fat, look for the fat person inside you. Name it. Wage war on it. Get past the usual tropes of your eating and activities and fight it.

It’s worked for me. It can work for you. Just be sure that you’re battling the fat person you are.


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